I would be lying if I said I had never thought about my death–this comes across everyone’s mind every now and then. However, I do not have a specific idea of exactly how I would die. So, for this project, I decided to have a little morbid fun with it. I am not incredibly unlucky, but someone has to be the first to do something wrong for the first time. So I decided, “F**ck you, Johnny Law!” and died from eating raw cookie dough. That’s right–I saw the warning on the package and I disregarded it.

With the aid of my girlfriend, Sira, we originally wanted my death to be alone at the dinner table, with an empty package of cookie dough on top of a nice plate with cutlery. I would be in only my boxers and my bear slippers (I’ve nicknamed them slipbears). We were trying to make it as sad and lonely as possible without it actually depressing anyone. However after we played around with it, Sira thought it would be better if I died alone in my room watching TV, which I agreed was a better choice. We came across a few snags in regards to lighting, camera angles, etc. But I think I’m displaying the visions in my head as well as I can, even if I don’t have awesome cameras and lights.

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I wanted the first shot to be of my corpse illuminated only by the TV; there’s something discomforting about that to me. These photos also made me realize that, despite my genuinely hard efforts at exercising, I do not have the physique I thought I had. But I guess art takes sacrifice…? For the second shot, I wanted it to get across that I wasn’t just dozing with the telly on. I wanted the viewers to see the “Do Not Consume Raw Cookie Dough” warning, with the TV on in the background (I chose Rick and Morty because it’s just a damn good show that I probably would watch while dying), indicating that I did actually die from consuming it.

Originally, I had this weird fixation with Billy Baldwin being connected to my death somehow (the second most Alec Baldwin looking of the Baldwin brothers, rivaled only by Alec himself). We were going to have my phone showing a bunch of missed texts and calls from Billy but it would’ve “disrupted the flow” so to speak. However, I maintain that if I am to die unexpectedly, Billy Baldwin’s your main man.